I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence. Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Dive.
Here's the thing. I'm going to be completely honest: I've felt very stagnant lately. I don't feel like I've pulled away from Jesus, but I am just not choosing to go deeper. In some ways, it feels like I'm trying to surface, to gasp for air and find some happy medium between the world and Jesus, some safe place that doesn't require too much and gives me just enough. But, in reality, I need to go deeper to find true relief, true life-giving air (Jesus and faith and water are all so connected in my head. I have no other metaphors). The point is that I'm not really having quiet time or getting in the Word, but I mean I still love Jesus. But I've started struggling with stuff again - stuff I don't want to struggle with and thought I had dealt with. But tonight was Faith and Family night at Kauffman Stadium. So a group of us went and saw the Royals lose and then some Christian players spoke and KJ-52 and Building 429 performed and even though it was all cheesy and sappy and stuff, it got me. God really spoke to me. And it was a message of LOVE. I think its really easy for me for faith to get impersonal. It becomes less a relationship and more a part of who I am, just another defining feature. But I realized tonight that there is also this overwhelming love that goes along with all that. That it is deep and more than anything I felt Him saying "dive in." "Dive into my delight and my pleasure and the honest truth that I made you and I love you for all you are. I love all of your crazy quirks and all of your thoughts and everything you are. Feel my pleasure for what I've created!" And I really just want to dive.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Best Friends and Bible Study
I've known my best friend, Sarah Elizabeth Waldo, for my entire life. Of course, of those 21.5 years, we've spent comparatively few hours together. In fact, we only lived in the same state for about a third of it. But somehow through the marvel of modern technology and Divine Providence, we never really lost touch.
I could go on forever about how much I love Sarah, how much fun we have together, what a great friend she is. Really, you should meet her sometime. She's worth the cost of a plane ticket. But that's not the point of this post. Well, it kinda is.
She came to visit during this week last year, and it was this day (Saturday) that she was on a plane home. You can read all about it here, but I did want to share something with you from that post to help you understand us:
The thing that I treasure most about Sarah is that I can tell her when I need space. We are nearly opposite in everything which makes us an odd pair to be so close. We've both said that if we hadn't grown up together, we would not be friends with each other. I'm way too type A, organized, and driven and she is way too relationally driven and extroverted. After a week together, we tend to get a little rough around the edges.
Perhaps that is why I always feel surprised at the profound sense of loss I feel as we arrive at the airport, check in, and one of us goes into security while the other watches - knowing that the amount of time between our next reunion is never set in stone. As I walked away from the gate this evening, I was moved nearly to tears as I reflected on our friendship. Sarah and I don't always see eye to eye. She drives me crazy sometimes. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love her more dearly than I could ever think possible. I treasure her so deeply that I know that our friendship could never really end. I don't know why God put us together, but He did and for that I am grateful. Sitting beside her, I almost lose track of where she ends and I begin. There are very few people who have an unlimited license to hug me but she is one of them.
Saying all of this, it dawns on me that it is almost like a romance or like being in love. While I can assure all of you that it is entirely platonic (we are both too boy crazy for our own good), she is one of the few people in the entire world that I am not sure that I could love a boy more than. I trust her with everything. Literally. I wish that I could be there when things are going badly, but I am relegated to being the friend on the phone. I wish we could celebrate the little victories, but I can only send my congratulations via technology. Still, I know that we have something special. We've been friends for twenty years - a bond not easily shaken. There may come a day where the chaotic push and pull of life forces us to fall out of touch but I have a strong conviction deep within me that even in that circumstance we won't stop loving each other, we won't stop thinking of each other, and we'll make it work. Because we always have. We are pros at the long-distance thing.
Sarah and I recently started studying the book of Ephesians. Even though we've been friends for 21 years, this is the first time that we've ever really done Bible study together. And its incredible. It has been so cool to talk to her about what's going on in my head and my life. But it's been even better to hear what Jesus is teaching her, and even getting to know more about her life and childhood. I've learned so much about her just by getting in the Word with her.
And its really cool, I think, because despite how often she remarks, "oh, that's why I sent you to Bible college" after I say something, her take on the text has been really enlightening to me. In fact, she and this book have been kicking my butt lately. God has majorly used her in my growth this summer. She motivates me to get in the Word and study and be able to bring something to the table when we discuss it. She motivates me to live out what the text says. She teaches me about grace every time we talk. She's much better at grace than I am.
And Ephesians? Man, Paul wrote some good stuff in that letter. Because of this Bible study, Sarah and I have been reading it a lot, and I (being the crazy type-a that I am) took very organized and categorical notes. As I was looking over them today, once again I felt the weight of what Paul was saying hit me.
In chapter 4, it talks about how we should live. I made a list of everything the text calls us to be, straight from the NIV. As Christians, we (I) should:
Live a life worthy of the calling
Be completely humble and gentle
Be patient
Bear with one another in love
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit by peace
Speak the truth in love
Live no longer as Gentiles
Not grieve the Holy Spirit
Be kind and compassionate
Forgive
Share with those in need
Not steal, but work
Put off falsehood
Not sin in anger
Not let the sun go down in anger
Not have bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, or malice
I look at that list and feel failure. My attitudes so rarely line up with that list, especially this first five or six or -- all of them. It's so easy to read over them in the Bible, but looking at that list, I see how far I am from the woman God wants me to be. And while I truly desire to live in accordance with all of those things, I know it is impossible.
Except that
We were (I was) once darkened in our understanding, separated from the life of God due to ignorance and hard hearts, given over to sensuality and impure desiring more impurity, corrupted by deceitful desires. But then, Christ came.
And now we are (I am) given grace as Christ apportioned it. What joy is in that statement! To know that there could never be more sin in me than mercy in Christ! Trust me, I have a lot of sin in me, but Christ has given me grace for all of it, so that I can be prepared for works of service, build up as the body of Christ. I am being taught to put off the old and put on the new, I am being made new in the attitudes of my mind. Why? Because I was created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. And someday I will be unified in faith and knowledge of the Son of God, mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Whoa. That is deep, deep stuff. That is the beautiful mystery of who God created me to be! I don't fully understand it, but I know that it is more me than any of this fleshly business tries to be. I know that it is not some boring and lifeless lifestyle that will be confining, but that it will be true freedom and joy and oh so much laughter. I yearn for it more and more. And I am so grateful to my best friend for reminding me of it. I am so grateful to her for doing this with me, for exploring more and more of who Jesus is and who we are, and for deepening our friendship. I may not get to see her very often, but she has had more of an impact on my summer than most people that I see regularly (except family - including Jessica and the Worstells, of course).
So you should do things. 1. Read Ephesians. It will rock your world. 2. Read Ephesians with your best friend. Or any book of the Bible. It's so worth it.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
I'm Nothing Special
There is nothing about me that makes me any better than the crowd. There is nothing about me that makes me special. But it seems like ever since I took my first breath, everyone in my world has always made me want to believe that I am something special, something different. Parents, teachers, friends even. But the honest to goodness truth is that I'm not.
I don't think this phenomenon is limited to me (although if it were, I suppose I would be special). The more that I interact with people, the more I believe that we are becoming a disgustingly narcissistic people. I see it in the stupid arguments at grocery stores, in the entitled attitudes of the people I work for or with, even (especially) in myself. If you have a pulse, you believe that you are right and that you are the most important thing in the universe.
Don't feel bad, we all do it at one point or another. Of course that doesn't make it right. See, nothing kills friendship faster than one person elevating themselves over the others. This is even more deadly in community (the current buzzword of any "relevant" Christian today). If you have a group of believers that are committed to building each other up, nothing can rip that group apart faster than introducing a diva - except maybe introducing two. Even in mature communities, it can cause ripples of dissension.
Forgive that side tangent.
The point is that any sort of narcissism - no matter how minor - is incompatible with the call of Christ. Time and time again in Scripture, we're told to die to ourselves, to elevate others, to love above all else. We're called to rid ourselves of the fleshly selfishness that rules our lives and to be set free for the sake of freedom - for the sake of discipleship and true glorification. It is such a paradox - to die to self in order to be truly glorified.
See, although we are far from special we're each called. Isn't that a glorious mystery? Although God did not make me any better than anyone else, He has called me differently and He has equipped me differently. It's nothing that I have done, but it's truly by the virtue of His grace and His extravagant love. In 2 Timothy, Paul says that we're saved and called not because of what we do but because of His own purpose and grace. The more I turn it over in my head, the more I realize how disgusting and worthless I am without Christ. Yet I have been chosen. You have been chosen. Each of us has been chosen! How much greater it is to be chosen by Christ for Christ than to be special by earthly measure!
As I've realized this truth, it has changed me some. Interestingly, it has made me quieter. Ask anyone who knew me as a child, and they'll gladly tell you that I never shut up. I heard that "empty wagons make the most noise" and that it's "better to leave your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and give them no doubt" once or twice... But lately, I find myself glad to be silent. Because I don't have something special to say most times. I'd rather listen, honestly. Now, I still can get pretty chatty sometimes. But I don't have to open my mouth and prove anything to anyone. I don't have to prove that I am smart or witty or have a better ministry or calling or relationship with God. Because, in all honesty, there are smarter and wittier people. And why on earth would I want to make anyone envious of my calling or ministry or intimacy with God? My calling is unique to me, and God has prepared me for it. He's not using me as some sort of role model or example to anyone through this. He is simply preparing me.
Today the coolest thing happened. I was running late to a coffee date with some friends, and I didn't really know which Starbucks it was at (I went to about three). On my way to the first one, before I realized that I had gotten off at the wrong exit, there was a homeless man asking for money. I wrestle a lot with the concept of giving homeless people straight cash (which I actually usually don't carry) but today I had a $5 bill. I waved him over, but the light turned green as he got to me so all I could do was hand him the money and apologize for driving off so quickly (I don't really know what else I would say, but I felt bad still). I drove down the street a little and realized I needed to turn around. Then I saw him, the same homeless man, walking out of a restaurant holding a bag of food. It made my day. And as I got back on the highway, I couldn't help but think that God had ordained that little detour so that I could be a part of something really cool. I got to buy that man lunch. I got to see God glorified.
I know that might be a silly example but it is these little moments that make me sure that God has something chosen for me. He had chosen me to work in the man's life today. He had prepared me. I never carry cash, and rarely do I have a five dollar bill. I know it's nothing grand or incredible, but these moments where I see the instant pay off are what keep me in the game. Truth be told, ever since I realized that God's chosen my future (I say it lightly, but I realize the implications - so far as I can, and I wouldn't let anyone else choose it), I've gotten a little lazy. It's remarkably easy to kick back and do nothing but say that God's got it covered. But in these moments of small gratification, I'm reminded to keep pursuing Him and to pursue what He has for me. It's a little kick back in the game - a little taste to keep me going. You see, salvation is not the end of the spiritual journey and growth, but the beginning. I think too often we forget that God is not satisfied with the life that's left in the baptistery. Sure, He wants people to be baptized and saved, but only so that they can follow Christ. Salvation is the means to the end - the glorification of God.
See, I'm nothing special. But He is.
I don't think this phenomenon is limited to me (although if it were, I suppose I would be special). The more that I interact with people, the more I believe that we are becoming a disgustingly narcissistic people. I see it in the stupid arguments at grocery stores, in the entitled attitudes of the people I work for or with, even (especially) in myself. If you have a pulse, you believe that you are right and that you are the most important thing in the universe.
Don't feel bad, we all do it at one point or another. Of course that doesn't make it right. See, nothing kills friendship faster than one person elevating themselves over the others. This is even more deadly in community (the current buzzword of any "relevant" Christian today). If you have a group of believers that are committed to building each other up, nothing can rip that group apart faster than introducing a diva - except maybe introducing two. Even in mature communities, it can cause ripples of dissension.
Forgive that side tangent.
The point is that any sort of narcissism - no matter how minor - is incompatible with the call of Christ. Time and time again in Scripture, we're told to die to ourselves, to elevate others, to love above all else. We're called to rid ourselves of the fleshly selfishness that rules our lives and to be set free for the sake of freedom - for the sake of discipleship and true glorification. It is such a paradox - to die to self in order to be truly glorified.
See, although we are far from special we're each called. Isn't that a glorious mystery? Although God did not make me any better than anyone else, He has called me differently and He has equipped me differently. It's nothing that I have done, but it's truly by the virtue of His grace and His extravagant love. In 2 Timothy, Paul says that we're saved and called not because of what we do but because of His own purpose and grace. The more I turn it over in my head, the more I realize how disgusting and worthless I am without Christ. Yet I have been chosen. You have been chosen. Each of us has been chosen! How much greater it is to be chosen by Christ for Christ than to be special by earthly measure!
As I've realized this truth, it has changed me some. Interestingly, it has made me quieter. Ask anyone who knew me as a child, and they'll gladly tell you that I never shut up. I heard that "empty wagons make the most noise" and that it's "better to leave your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and give them no doubt" once or twice... But lately, I find myself glad to be silent. Because I don't have something special to say most times. I'd rather listen, honestly. Now, I still can get pretty chatty sometimes. But I don't have to open my mouth and prove anything to anyone. I don't have to prove that I am smart or witty or have a better ministry or calling or relationship with God. Because, in all honesty, there are smarter and wittier people. And why on earth would I want to make anyone envious of my calling or ministry or intimacy with God? My calling is unique to me, and God has prepared me for it. He's not using me as some sort of role model or example to anyone through this. He is simply preparing me.
Today the coolest thing happened. I was running late to a coffee date with some friends, and I didn't really know which Starbucks it was at (I went to about three). On my way to the first one, before I realized that I had gotten off at the wrong exit, there was a homeless man asking for money. I wrestle a lot with the concept of giving homeless people straight cash (which I actually usually don't carry) but today I had a $5 bill. I waved him over, but the light turned green as he got to me so all I could do was hand him the money and apologize for driving off so quickly (I don't really know what else I would say, but I felt bad still). I drove down the street a little and realized I needed to turn around. Then I saw him, the same homeless man, walking out of a restaurant holding a bag of food. It made my day. And as I got back on the highway, I couldn't help but think that God had ordained that little detour so that I could be a part of something really cool. I got to buy that man lunch. I got to see God glorified.
I know that might be a silly example but it is these little moments that make me sure that God has something chosen for me. He had chosen me to work in the man's life today. He had prepared me. I never carry cash, and rarely do I have a five dollar bill. I know it's nothing grand or incredible, but these moments where I see the instant pay off are what keep me in the game. Truth be told, ever since I realized that God's chosen my future (I say it lightly, but I realize the implications - so far as I can, and I wouldn't let anyone else choose it), I've gotten a little lazy. It's remarkably easy to kick back and do nothing but say that God's got it covered. But in these moments of small gratification, I'm reminded to keep pursuing Him and to pursue what He has for me. It's a little kick back in the game - a little taste to keep me going. You see, salvation is not the end of the spiritual journey and growth, but the beginning. I think too often we forget that God is not satisfied with the life that's left in the baptistery. Sure, He wants people to be baptized and saved, but only so that they can follow Christ. Salvation is the means to the end - the glorification of God.
See, I'm nothing special. But He is.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Camp
Every summer I fall in love with camp all over again. I love the joy of new campers and faculty, the hopes of a great week, even the inevitable disappointment that comes when things don't live up to expectation. There is something beautiful in the give and take of camp, the utter exhaustion and the complete dependence on God to give me grace and strength to survive. There is sheer blessing in the hours of thinking on my lifeguard stand and the slow bronzing of the skin on my back around the straps of my swimsuit.
I love to spend my days with Duonna and Jessica and the interns, to do crazy things to make Tom shake his head and grin, and to have long talks with the interns. I love celebrating crazy holidays that are so mundane that it is difficult to celebrate them. More and more I find myself looking forward to meeting and knowing the interns. I love to tease them, but even more I love to sit and talk with them, to speak God's truth in their lives or to just talk about life in college.
Mostly, I love thinking over the things Jesus has done in my heart each year that I've come to WCCSC. It's amazing to trace my growth first as a camper, and then to see how even these summers find me learning more and more. I can't wait to write some of my most recent reflections, but camp exhaustion has me calling it a night. So, until later, good night.
I love to spend my days with Duonna and Jessica and the interns, to do crazy things to make Tom shake his head and grin, and to have long talks with the interns. I love celebrating crazy holidays that are so mundane that it is difficult to celebrate them. More and more I find myself looking forward to meeting and knowing the interns. I love to tease them, but even more I love to sit and talk with them, to speak God's truth in their lives or to just talk about life in college.
Mostly, I love thinking over the things Jesus has done in my heart each year that I've come to WCCSC. It's amazing to trace my growth first as a camper, and then to see how even these summers find me learning more and more. I can't wait to write some of my most recent reflections, but camp exhaustion has me calling it a night. So, until later, good night.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Psalm 103
Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel: The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west,so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
-Ps. 103
It is hard for me to describe the incredible joy and peace that I have experienced in the past few weeks. God is so faithful and good, He is holy and true, He is wonderful, and He is near. I am so blessed to be called His child!
This year has been perhaps the most difficult yet. I feel like I have been challenged in every way, and God has been so faithful and good through everything. And now I am living in the truth of His wonderful provision, and it is good. His love is overwhelming and true beyond anything I've experienced. He is the God who faithfully provided for a small dream that began three years ago. He is the God who will faithfully provide every good thing for a every dream that He has given me. He is the God who is worth praising before He provides because of all He is and all He has done. He is the God who gave us Christ, the God-man who was crucified, buried, and resurrected. Oh, to know Jesus in the power of His resurrection! To be made like Him! This Jesus is the transforming power that changes lives from ashes to beauty. His Spirit is moving and pushing and doing incredible things. More than all this, this God answers prayers and works overwhelmingly in my weakness. This is the God who has told me who I am - that I am loved, chosen, made clean and pure, given the task of reconciling men to Him, and enslaved to righteousness. I am free from all of the shackles and lies of the devil, and sin has no hold on me. This Christ has made me His, and I rejoice in that!
He has transformed a community that was devastated just one year ago. He has been glorified even as creation revolts and destroys itself. He has taken what was mortifying and heart breaking and He has faithfully been present and working. He has been glorified simply in His faithfulness and goodness and His healing. Joplin will never forget this past year, and May 22 at 5:41 will always hold a very somber significance, but I can proudly say that God has been glorified even in this tragedy. I pray that He would continue to work in Joplin, especially today. I pray for His protection over the city, but I am confident that He will not waste anything that happens - good or bad. This is the good God we serve!
I am so blessed to return to a new house and roommate in the fall (as well as the old ones!), a new job, and a community where Jesus is moving. I get to start my education classes and finish my OCC education.
And this summer, I get to return to my summer home - WCCSC! I am so excited for my last camp season - I do love camp, and I dread saying goodbye. I am excited to run the GlowRun with Jessica and to get one test over with. I am excited to grow closer to my Savior and to have a season of rest. God is so good!
-Ps. 103
It is hard for me to describe the incredible joy and peace that I have experienced in the past few weeks. God is so faithful and good, He is holy and true, He is wonderful, and He is near. I am so blessed to be called His child!
This year has been perhaps the most difficult yet. I feel like I have been challenged in every way, and God has been so faithful and good through everything. And now I am living in the truth of His wonderful provision, and it is good. His love is overwhelming and true beyond anything I've experienced. He is the God who faithfully provided for a small dream that began three years ago. He is the God who will faithfully provide every good thing for a every dream that He has given me. He is the God who is worth praising before He provides because of all He is and all He has done. He is the God who gave us Christ, the God-man who was crucified, buried, and resurrected. Oh, to know Jesus in the power of His resurrection! To be made like Him! This Jesus is the transforming power that changes lives from ashes to beauty. His Spirit is moving and pushing and doing incredible things. More than all this, this God answers prayers and works overwhelmingly in my weakness. This is the God who has told me who I am - that I am loved, chosen, made clean and pure, given the task of reconciling men to Him, and enslaved to righteousness. I am free from all of the shackles and lies of the devil, and sin has no hold on me. This Christ has made me His, and I rejoice in that!
He has transformed a community that was devastated just one year ago. He has been glorified even as creation revolts and destroys itself. He has taken what was mortifying and heart breaking and He has faithfully been present and working. He has been glorified simply in His faithfulness and goodness and His healing. Joplin will never forget this past year, and May 22 at 5:41 will always hold a very somber significance, but I can proudly say that God has been glorified even in this tragedy. I pray that He would continue to work in Joplin, especially today. I pray for His protection over the city, but I am confident that He will not waste anything that happens - good or bad. This is the good God we serve!
I am so blessed to return to a new house and roommate in the fall (as well as the old ones!), a new job, and a community where Jesus is moving. I get to start my education classes and finish my OCC education.
And this summer, I get to return to my summer home - WCCSC! I am so excited for my last camp season - I do love camp, and I dread saying goodbye. I am excited to run the GlowRun with Jessica and to get one test over with. I am excited to grow closer to my Savior and to have a season of rest. God is so good!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Trust
I'm Natasha Ohmart, and I am a control freak. I don't think that revelation surprises anyone who knows me, especially people who have known me since I was a child. I have this insatiable craving to know exactly what is going to happen to me. I used to pester my parents to no end to know the details of anything that was going on, and I loved knowing that I was in control of what I could and couldn't do. That drive has been beneficial in so many things, but it has taken a serious toll on my faith.
I trust God. I do. At least cognitively. And I'm letting Him lead me to my future, I trust that He'll protect me and use me for the glory of His kingdom. But on a smaller scale, I like to control things. Like my finances. And my plans for the day. I don't handle interruptions and upsets well. Especially major one. I came close to hysterics today when something that involved a big amount of money (for a college student) went wrong. And as I was talking to my dad, the concept of trust kept coming up. What started as a frustration with bureaucracy escalated to legitimate fear of the future while Dad affirmed over and over the truth of God's provision and offers of help. And as I drove to class, it occurred me how little I trust God with the little things. And that's wrong.
You know that scene in Aladdin where Jasmine and Aladdin are running from the police? They go up to the roof and Aladdin extends his hand and asks, "Do you trust me?" That image has been playing over and over in my head. I see God asking me with a bemused smile, "Do you trust me, Tasha? Can you surrender control?" And the things is, as much as I want to, I don't know that I can say yes. My first reaction when I get bad news is to panic and call my Dad rather than to bring it to my Heavenly Father and proceed in His peace and the comfort of His promises. But that is what I want my reaction to be. In Romans it talks about how Abraham "did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God." I want to be strong in my faith and give glory to God, to not waver through unbelief, and to know that God will come through.
I trust God. I do. At least cognitively. And I'm letting Him lead me to my future, I trust that He'll protect me and use me for the glory of His kingdom. But on a smaller scale, I like to control things. Like my finances. And my plans for the day. I don't handle interruptions and upsets well. Especially major one. I came close to hysterics today when something that involved a big amount of money (for a college student) went wrong. And as I was talking to my dad, the concept of trust kept coming up. What started as a frustration with bureaucracy escalated to legitimate fear of the future while Dad affirmed over and over the truth of God's provision and offers of help. And as I drove to class, it occurred me how little I trust God with the little things. And that's wrong.
You know that scene in Aladdin where Jasmine and Aladdin are running from the police? They go up to the roof and Aladdin extends his hand and asks, "Do you trust me?" That image has been playing over and over in my head. I see God asking me with a bemused smile, "Do you trust me, Tasha? Can you surrender control?" And the things is, as much as I want to, I don't know that I can say yes. My first reaction when I get bad news is to panic and call my Dad rather than to bring it to my Heavenly Father and proceed in His peace and the comfort of His promises. But that is what I want my reaction to be. In Romans it talks about how Abraham "did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God." I want to be strong in my faith and give glory to God, to not waver through unbelief, and to know that God will come through.
Friday, March 30, 2012
So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
-Colossians 2:7
Can I just honestly say that Colossians is rocking my world lately? I'm really not sure why - I think I've probably read it at least a dozen times before. But all of the sudden I am seeing gems of doctrinal truth that I have never noticed before. It blows my mind that as I become rooted in Jesus and as I continually abide in him, that he is growing me. All stuff I've heard before, but it is as if something clicked and I am really internalizing it.
Chapter three is seriously changing my life with Jesus. Realizing that my life is nothing because it is hidden in Christ - that He is my life - whoa. Or getting rid myself of anger, malice, envy, filthy language from my lips and putting on Christ. Praying in the morning that He would clothe me with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Realizing the freedom that comes from a heart that is full of the peace of Christ and the joy of gratitude.
Dear friend, we are free! Christ has risen from the dead and given us this wonderful, glorious joy that we are no longer entangled by sins or hang ups or failures or anything that you'd like to call it. No longer do we have to be enslaved by the patterns in which we were raised or the stigmas that society has placed upon us. We get to be free.
And even more than that, we are called children of God! That we are NOW children of God, not that it is a future glorification but that we have been adopted now and are being transformed. A few weeks ago I was preparing for a seminar called Leading Children to Christ. That has also been a controversial topic in my own heart, and I was anxious to learn, especially developmentally, how to create healthy disciples in young children who may lack the abstract thinking skills that Christianity defaults to. As I was writing out my testimony in 10 year old language, it dawned on me that God loves me. Not in a "oh, God loves everyone because He made everyone" way, but in a deep and personal way. God loves me for me. He loves my personality because He created it. He loves each of my crazy quirks, and I make Him laugh with delight. And so as this transformation process occurs, He's not trying to throw out all of the fun parts about me and make me only holy, He is correcting the parts of me that were corrupted by the fall. As He makes me more like His Son, He isn't changing me to be a carbon copy in every way, He is making me the person I was intended to be. He doesn't want a church of exactly the same people, He wants all types of people: the wild, the passionate, the strong, the weak, the timid, everyone. So His transformation is the best thing that I could ask for. He is helping me to get rid of the anger and bitterness that have overgrown like weeds in my personality. He is helping me to cultivate patience and love and gentleness. That is what it means for Christ to finish His work in me - that I would be fully me as it pleases my Creator. I would be holy, loving, righteous, sanctified, and me. What freedom and joy and peace that brings me!
I think the American church has for so long sold only two identities: Man and Woman. The Man must be strong, a good leader, stable, vocal, and oh so wise. The Woman should be quiet, a good helper, graceful, polite, and good with children. Those qualities aren't bad in of themselves. But trying to cram a variety of personalities into one of two molds is bad. Being who we were created to be is better.
Over this semester, I have learned so much about God, and I have fallen even more deeply in love with Him. I have learned to trust Him so much more, to be more patient and what for His provision and time with a little less anxiety. I have learned that He is a good God, that He is unfailing in His faithfulness, that I love Him so deeply because of who He is, but also because of His great, lavish love for me. I don't know why He loves me. I honestly don't. But I am perfectly and overwhelmingly content and joyful to live in that love.
He is such a wonderful Savior. He is a glorious Savior.
-Colossians 2:7
Can I just honestly say that Colossians is rocking my world lately? I'm really not sure why - I think I've probably read it at least a dozen times before. But all of the sudden I am seeing gems of doctrinal truth that I have never noticed before. It blows my mind that as I become rooted in Jesus and as I continually abide in him, that he is growing me. All stuff I've heard before, but it is as if something clicked and I am really internalizing it.
Chapter three is seriously changing my life with Jesus. Realizing that my life is nothing because it is hidden in Christ - that He is my life - whoa. Or getting rid myself of anger, malice, envy, filthy language from my lips and putting on Christ. Praying in the morning that He would clothe me with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Realizing the freedom that comes from a heart that is full of the peace of Christ and the joy of gratitude.
Dear friend, we are free! Christ has risen from the dead and given us this wonderful, glorious joy that we are no longer entangled by sins or hang ups or failures or anything that you'd like to call it. No longer do we have to be enslaved by the patterns in which we were raised or the stigmas that society has placed upon us. We get to be free.
And even more than that, we are called children of God! That we are NOW children of God, not that it is a future glorification but that we have been adopted now and are being transformed. A few weeks ago I was preparing for a seminar called Leading Children to Christ. That has also been a controversial topic in my own heart, and I was anxious to learn, especially developmentally, how to create healthy disciples in young children who may lack the abstract thinking skills that Christianity defaults to. As I was writing out my testimony in 10 year old language, it dawned on me that God loves me. Not in a "oh, God loves everyone because He made everyone" way, but in a deep and personal way. God loves me for me. He loves my personality because He created it. He loves each of my crazy quirks, and I make Him laugh with delight. And so as this transformation process occurs, He's not trying to throw out all of the fun parts about me and make me only holy, He is correcting the parts of me that were corrupted by the fall. As He makes me more like His Son, He isn't changing me to be a carbon copy in every way, He is making me the person I was intended to be. He doesn't want a church of exactly the same people, He wants all types of people: the wild, the passionate, the strong, the weak, the timid, everyone. So His transformation is the best thing that I could ask for. He is helping me to get rid of the anger and bitterness that have overgrown like weeds in my personality. He is helping me to cultivate patience and love and gentleness. That is what it means for Christ to finish His work in me - that I would be fully me as it pleases my Creator. I would be holy, loving, righteous, sanctified, and me. What freedom and joy and peace that brings me!
I think the American church has for so long sold only two identities: Man and Woman. The Man must be strong, a good leader, stable, vocal, and oh so wise. The Woman should be quiet, a good helper, graceful, polite, and good with children. Those qualities aren't bad in of themselves. But trying to cram a variety of personalities into one of two molds is bad. Being who we were created to be is better.
Over this semester, I have learned so much about God, and I have fallen even more deeply in love with Him. I have learned to trust Him so much more, to be more patient and what for His provision and time with a little less anxiety. I have learned that He is a good God, that He is unfailing in His faithfulness, that I love Him so deeply because of who He is, but also because of His great, lavish love for me. I don't know why He loves me. I honestly don't. But I am perfectly and overwhelmingly content and joyful to live in that love.
He is such a wonderful Savior. He is a glorious Savior.
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