I think that sometimes I forget that I am supported and shaped by something much more than just my education, my age, even my community. I have been blessed with a group of people that encourages me to pursue growth, provides for me in every conceivable way, and that inspires me to persevere, and I know that I don't thank them enough for all they do for me. That group is my family.
More and more I am convinced of what a blessing and rarity my family is, and I am daily more grateful for them. Please don't hear this as me bragging, but let this be a thank you to them. These people are particularly on my mind because I have recently been reminded, either by their physical presence or a telephone call that they are so integral to my growth:

My grandparents are some of the most Godly people I know. The more I get to know them and see them as people besides just grandparents, the more that I see what loving and compassionate people they are. I have been inspired so much by my grandmother's example as a woman who loves God and serves Him. I hope that if God calls me to be a wife, I can serve my husband as gracefully as she serves her's and support him as well. My grandfather is a wonderful example of a man that lives to glorify God. At eighty plus years old, he is still active in the church as the minister of encouragement, taking his experience with shaky health and using it as a motivation to serve others. I am so proud of his preaching ministry and his example of a life lived in pursuit of God. I take great pleasure in growing into a young woman who brings them joy. I hope that someday I am as open to God's will and timing as they are.
My father is one of my favorite people in the entire world. He lives to glorify God and he is still my hero, even though I am well past the days of being his princess. He still looks for ways to provide for me and to show me that he loves me. He is without a doubt my favorite person to cook for because I know that he appreciates it so much. His dedication to God and his faithfulness to God's calling is such a lesson to me in the way that God works. In so many instances I have seen God's hand in his life, and I love the way that he leads our family.
My mother is also a rare gem. I admire and respect her so very much, more than I think I could ever articulate. She has had such a different life than what I have or will have, and her reliance on God and trust in Him makes me marvel. I love the talks that we can have and the wisdom that she always imparts. She has taught me so much about life and about being a woman who serves God. If I ever have kids, she is the model of the mother I want to be. There was never any doubt in my mind that she loved (loves) us, and that she wants nothing but the best for us - that she would literally do anything for us. I love her vulnerability and even watching God work in her life brings me joy.
One of my greatest desires is to become a woman that makes my parents proud, the woman that they want me to be.
My brother is yet another very influential person in my life. I admire him and respect him more than nearly anyone else. He has such strong leaderships skills and desires so much to serve God, and he is one of my go-to problem solvers. He married a fantastic woman, whom I love very dearly. She has also been a great asset and encouragement, and I love getting to know her better and developing the relationship more.
I have three wonderful sisters that have shaped so much of who I am that it would take hours to elaborate. Lately, I have been especially encouraged by Tina and Anna.
Tina is one of the people I victimize most with my verbal processing. She has such a different perspective on things and is so much less impulsive and dumb than I. I really appreciate the insight that she gives me and that she lets me talk so much. She has pushed me in my growth towards God so much, especially in my time since Ozark. Being at school together has brought a unique opportunity to see each other in a new light and watching her pursue God and figure out what he's calling her to has been marvelous. I love the long drives that we get to take together to visit family because they are always a catalyst for great conversation. I am grateful for the ways that she has invested in me.
My younger sister is the sweetest fourteen year old ever. I appreciate so much how our relationship is growing as she grows up, and I am especially grateful for how open we can be with each other. I very much look forward to going to Honduras with her in just over two weeks. She has a heart for people and watching her develop her God-given passions is such a joy to me.

There are many fabulous people that I have failed to mention. Even if I had all the time in the world, I doubt I could do justice to all the people who continually pour into me or even all of the family that I am beyond grateful for.

Thirty Years

My favorite classes always seem to be exegetical. I love to get into the Word of God and dissect it. There is a great sense of revelation and wisdom that comes from the pages of Scripture and I love having the assignment of reading the Bible.
In my recent reading of John and the notes that accompanied the passage we were discussing, we were talking about Jesus' ministry. There's some debate as to how long it was, and I won't bore you with the details except to say that I fall into the school of thought that allots three years to his ministry. Another debate lies around Jesus' age, but for the purposes of this short post we will say that he was around thirty when he began his ministry.
Jesus spent thirty years of his life preparing for three years of ministry. Just three years. I spend so much time and thought complaining that I have to prepare for 5-6 years for my education degree, yet Jesus prepared for thirty. Of course if you count the k-12 years, and even earlier, my totally preparation amounts to around twenty years, but I will probably teach for at least twenty years.
There is speculation as to how Jesus spent those thirty years. Very little detail is given, and other than the idea that he probably worked in his father's carpentry shop, there aren't any solid theories. I can't imagine what it would be like to be making chairs and farm equipment while knowing that you are the Son of God. I feel so trapped sometimes, because I know that my preparation will take a while and I feel so ready to be actually doing what God has gifted me in, yet Jesus had a much higher calling and spent so much more time in waiting.
I think that thought lends more importance to the idea of preparation and of patience for God's timing. At least for me, I have realized that this time is about more than just cramming my head full of knowledge so that my life can begin. There is so much more going on, more than just knowing how to teach, but learning to depend on God and feel the Spirit move. God doesn't design everyone's ministry this way, but for mine this is definitely true. And I realize that I have the opportunity to be involved in other ministries, and I am, but it all feels so transitory. A part of me wants to fast forward five or ten years, but I am constantly reminded how necessary and fleeting these years truly are. With the example of Jesus to draw encouragement from, I will just have to learn to wait on God. His plans for me are much greater than my own, and I have to trust that He is using this time to get me ready to achieve those dreams, and that He will continue to prepare me long after my formal education ends.


On another note, I am so grateful to have a Godly father with whom I can discuss these things. I love getting older and learning more and conversing with him about these things. He is so wise and so encouraging!

Thoughts on Fridays.

Fridays are inherently good.

Classes rushed past, as always, and as I walked out of my 11:25 at 11:41, I felt free. I stopped over in the Student Center to check my mail - and lo and behold, there sat a package from Amazon. I love getting new books. Today's choice is "The Cost of Discipleship" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I am so excited to read it, as I've heard fantastic things about the book and very much respect Bonhoeffer.

This Friday brought with it a wonderful opportunity: to go swimming. I have not swam in months. Oh, how I missed it. When I swim, I feel the big-ness of God. There is something inexplicable that happens in the gentle rise and fall of the water, as I rush back and forth. There is a pleasure which I cannot quite articulate, a calm that I wish that I could put in a bottle. Exhausting as it is, the joy of it makes me yearn for more. It is bizarre to me that something as simple as swimming can have such an effect. Anxieties which I didn't know I was carrying fall to the ground as I encounter the magnitude of my Heavenly Father. This fascination bewilders me. It so frustrates me that I can't explain why or how or what triggers this divine encounter, why going from end to end of a pool brings about such an awesome experience. Even running does not compare with what I feel when I swim, though I find great peace in that as well.
Despite these facts, I still love God best in the stillness.

Psalm 27:13-14

I seem to have so much to say as of late. The snow brings out a more reflective side of me, I suppose.

But today I am just so impressed by the goodness of God that I had to share my thoughts.

Last night, I was flipping through Psalms and my eyes came to rest on Psalm 27. Psalm 27 is one of my favorite Psalms, though I cannot articulate why. However, the last two verses of the Psalm arrested my attention:

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and take heart,
Wait for the Lord.

I have been worried about so much in the last few days, and that simple reminder was just what I needed to finally rest my mind. I am just in awe of how it speaks to my heart in ways that are inexplicable.

Today has brought so much relief and my mind keeps running back to those reassuring verses. God is so GOOD! As I reflect on the news that I have received and the beautiful snow, I just seem unable to think of anything else. Today has brought wonderful time to talk with friends, opportunity to finally get things done that have been long put off, and the reminder that I serve a powerful God - a God who invented the snow (something so small yet so amazing!). This week has undoubtedly been a lesson in faith and in reassurance and in the goodness of God. And God is good.

Observations

Sometimes confrontation and vulnerability is good.

Also, this quote seems to be sticking with me this week:
"Prosperity knits a man to the world. He feels that he is making his place in it, while really it is finding its place in him."
- CS Lewis

Community is delightful. In particular, getting snowed into a mansion with fifteen of your friends is fantastic. I highly recommend it, especially if you have a bounce house.

Just as "when it rains, it pours" when it snows, it blizzards. Ten years of living in Missouri has taught me to downplay every weather source. This time I should not have.

Also when it rains, it truly does pour. This week has been rather overwhelming.

Surprisingly, this is one of my most popular blog posts.
http://natashaohmart.blogspot.com/2010/11/thankfulness-and-christmas.html

On a related note, I learned how to check stats for this site.

As I sit in my warm dorm room and reflect on the past days and weeks, I can't help but smile. So much has happened, and I feel like I've grown in some ways. I love typing away at my computer and marveling at God's working in my life. I still see so much that we must work out together, but it is exciting to notice progress.

I love the Gospel of John. It is fantastic.

I love getting to know people better and realizing that we are all human and we all have the same insecurities, no matter the image we project. It is nice to have someone to be in the trenches with, fighting the war to become more like Jesus.

Obviously this has been an eclectic post of thoughts swimming around in my mind, but I am just so content right now that my mind cannot help but to wander. After a weekend of being anxious and overwhelmed, it is nice to experience the peace of God, which transcends all human understanding.