Life.

It is such an incredible thing to see God moving. I know that God is always at work, but what a privilege it is to be able to recognize His Spirit so tangibly! In so many ways, I am in this incredible season of reaping the harvest that has been sown. And this harvest is not something that I can take any glory for - it is completely owing to the dozens of people who have gone before me. It is their hard labor, their faith, that makes it possible for me to have the joy of reaping the harvest.

And what a joy it is! I know that these memories of when God was so clearly glorified here in my life will sustain me in the years to come when I am in the season of planting the harvest. What an exciting thing to be on this side of things though!

And not only do I see it around me, I see it in me. I feel God working things out in my heart. I feel His joy and His love and His passion consuming me in new ways. I feel I am diving into more of His heart. What an incredible feeling! The more that I see Him move, the more deeply I long to know Him. And despite the ridiculous class/work schedule that this semester boasts, the more that I want to be involved in what He is doing. I want to pursue what He is doing in other things too - the other ministries my friends are involved in, the other ministries I hear about. I am so in love with God that it doesn't matter what it is, I want to hear what He is doing!

I have been reading about Amy Carmichael lately. What an incredible woman of God she was! Reading about her pursuit of Christ has brought so many things into sharper focus for me. She gave up everything to go where Christ led her: she broke so many expectations and social codes, she faced so much criticism, and yet she went. And this book is so bluntly honest about her feelings and her struggles. I love it. She writes about her frustrations with where she felt God was leading her and the people who tried to contradict it. One of my favorite things she brought out thus far was the tension between how we live and how we should live, as Christians. People were objecting to the how hard she was pushing herself for the ministry, and she made the point that "Satan is so much more in earnest than we are - he buys up the opportunity while we are wondering how much it will cost." BAM! Convicted. And I realize that boundaries and stuff are important to prevent burnout or whatever, but this is a really interesting point to ponder. It makes me want to seize more of what God lays at my doorstep - to push myself harder to glorify God (within the context of boundaries that guard who He has created me to be). But our God is in the business of stretching people, and I am so excited for Him to stretch me into the most God-glorifying version of myself.

How great is it that God knows the most awesome version of who I could be - the fullest version of myself! The more that God changes me, the more that I feel that He's weeding out who I am not so that I become more of me! I feel like I am learning who I am because of who He's created me to be. It's freaking awesome!