Dive.

Here's the thing. I'm going to be completely honest: I've felt very stagnant lately. I don't feel like I've pulled away from Jesus, but I am just not choosing to go deeper. In some ways, it feels like I'm trying to surface, to gasp for air and find some happy medium between the world and Jesus, some safe place that doesn't require too much and gives me just enough. But, in reality, I need to go deeper to find true relief, true life-giving air (Jesus and faith and water are all so connected in my head. I have no other metaphors). The point is that I'm not really having quiet time or getting in the Word, but I mean I still love Jesus. But I've started struggling with stuff again - stuff I don't want to struggle with and thought I had dealt with. But tonight was Faith and Family night at Kauffman Stadium. So a group of us went and saw the Royals lose and then some Christian players spoke and KJ-52 and Building 429 performed and even though it was all cheesy and sappy and stuff, it got me. God really spoke to me. And it was a message of LOVE. I think its really easy for me for faith to get impersonal. It becomes less a relationship and more a part of who I am, just another defining feature. But I realized tonight that there is also this overwhelming love that goes along with all that. That it is deep and more than anything I felt Him saying "dive in." "Dive into my delight and my pleasure and the honest truth that I made you and I love you for all you are. I love all of your crazy quirks and all of your thoughts and everything you are. Feel my pleasure for what I've created!" And I really just want to dive.