Thirty Years

My favorite classes always seem to be exegetical. I love to get into the Word of God and dissect it. There is a great sense of revelation and wisdom that comes from the pages of Scripture and I love having the assignment of reading the Bible.
In my recent reading of John and the notes that accompanied the passage we were discussing, we were talking about Jesus' ministry. There's some debate as to how long it was, and I won't bore you with the details except to say that I fall into the school of thought that allots three years to his ministry. Another debate lies around Jesus' age, but for the purposes of this short post we will say that he was around thirty when he began his ministry.
Jesus spent thirty years of his life preparing for three years of ministry. Just three years. I spend so much time and thought complaining that I have to prepare for 5-6 years for my education degree, yet Jesus prepared for thirty. Of course if you count the k-12 years, and even earlier, my totally preparation amounts to around twenty years, but I will probably teach for at least twenty years.
There is speculation as to how Jesus spent those thirty years. Very little detail is given, and other than the idea that he probably worked in his father's carpentry shop, there aren't any solid theories. I can't imagine what it would be like to be making chairs and farm equipment while knowing that you are the Son of God. I feel so trapped sometimes, because I know that my preparation will take a while and I feel so ready to be actually doing what God has gifted me in, yet Jesus had a much higher calling and spent so much more time in waiting.
I think that thought lends more importance to the idea of preparation and of patience for God's timing. At least for me, I have realized that this time is about more than just cramming my head full of knowledge so that my life can begin. There is so much more going on, more than just knowing how to teach, but learning to depend on God and feel the Spirit move. God doesn't design everyone's ministry this way, but for mine this is definitely true. And I realize that I have the opportunity to be involved in other ministries, and I am, but it all feels so transitory. A part of me wants to fast forward five or ten years, but I am constantly reminded how necessary and fleeting these years truly are. With the example of Jesus to draw encouragement from, I will just have to learn to wait on God. His plans for me are much greater than my own, and I have to trust that He is using this time to get me ready to achieve those dreams, and that He will continue to prepare me long after my formal education ends.


On another note, I am so grateful to have a Godly father with whom I can discuss these things. I love getting older and learning more and conversing with him about these things. He is so wise and so encouraging!

Thoughts on Fridays.

Fridays are inherently good.

Classes rushed past, as always, and as I walked out of my 11:25 at 11:41, I felt free. I stopped over in the Student Center to check my mail - and lo and behold, there sat a package from Amazon. I love getting new books. Today's choice is "The Cost of Discipleship" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I am so excited to read it, as I've heard fantastic things about the book and very much respect Bonhoeffer.

This Friday brought with it a wonderful opportunity: to go swimming. I have not swam in months. Oh, how I missed it. When I swim, I feel the big-ness of God. There is something inexplicable that happens in the gentle rise and fall of the water, as I rush back and forth. There is a pleasure which I cannot quite articulate, a calm that I wish that I could put in a bottle. Exhausting as it is, the joy of it makes me yearn for more. It is bizarre to me that something as simple as swimming can have such an effect. Anxieties which I didn't know I was carrying fall to the ground as I encounter the magnitude of my Heavenly Father. This fascination bewilders me. It so frustrates me that I can't explain why or how or what triggers this divine encounter, why going from end to end of a pool brings about such an awesome experience. Even running does not compare with what I feel when I swim, though I find great peace in that as well.
Despite these facts, I still love God best in the stillness.

Psalm 27:13-14

I seem to have so much to say as of late. The snow brings out a more reflective side of me, I suppose.

But today I am just so impressed by the goodness of God that I had to share my thoughts.

Last night, I was flipping through Psalms and my eyes came to rest on Psalm 27. Psalm 27 is one of my favorite Psalms, though I cannot articulate why. However, the last two verses of the Psalm arrested my attention:

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and take heart,
Wait for the Lord.

I have been worried about so much in the last few days, and that simple reminder was just what I needed to finally rest my mind. I am just in awe of how it speaks to my heart in ways that are inexplicable.

Today has brought so much relief and my mind keeps running back to those reassuring verses. God is so GOOD! As I reflect on the news that I have received and the beautiful snow, I just seem unable to think of anything else. Today has brought wonderful time to talk with friends, opportunity to finally get things done that have been long put off, and the reminder that I serve a powerful God - a God who invented the snow (something so small yet so amazing!). This week has undoubtedly been a lesson in faith and in reassurance and in the goodness of God. And God is good.

Observations

Sometimes confrontation and vulnerability is good.

Also, this quote seems to be sticking with me this week:
"Prosperity knits a man to the world. He feels that he is making his place in it, while really it is finding its place in him."
- CS Lewis

Community is delightful. In particular, getting snowed into a mansion with fifteen of your friends is fantastic. I highly recommend it, especially if you have a bounce house.

Just as "when it rains, it pours" when it snows, it blizzards. Ten years of living in Missouri has taught me to downplay every weather source. This time I should not have.

Also when it rains, it truly does pour. This week has been rather overwhelming.

Surprisingly, this is one of my most popular blog posts.
http://natashaohmart.blogspot.com/2010/11/thankfulness-and-christmas.html

On a related note, I learned how to check stats for this site.

As I sit in my warm dorm room and reflect on the past days and weeks, I can't help but smile. So much has happened, and I feel like I've grown in some ways. I love typing away at my computer and marveling at God's working in my life. I still see so much that we must work out together, but it is exciting to notice progress.

I love the Gospel of John. It is fantastic.

I love getting to know people better and realizing that we are all human and we all have the same insecurities, no matter the image we project. It is nice to have someone to be in the trenches with, fighting the war to become more like Jesus.

Obviously this has been an eclectic post of thoughts swimming around in my mind, but I am just so content right now that my mind cannot help but to wander. After a weekend of being anxious and overwhelmed, it is nice to experience the peace of God, which transcends all human understanding.

Washington University.

Sometimes it is nice to be a little pretentious. Even better, though, is to be around a person who appreciates that side of me. This weekend has been so incredible so far. I've missed Katie so much, and I love seeing what her life is like on a daily basis. It is something so special to be able to walk in someone else's shoes. It lends invaluable new insight into their reactions, their personality, their future even. And that, in a nutshell, has been what is so special about this weekend (aside from the Katie herself!).
To give some background, Katie and I have been friends for about five years now. We met in Antique Photo, summer 2006. In the long, boring days of Antique we forged a friendship that extended beyond our first job. We've experienced so much together, and it is hard to describe our friendship without getting a little sentimental. Suffice to say, I feel like Katie understands me better than even most of my friends. We love to laugh together, have the same sense of humor, have very similar personalities, and share a bond deeper than all of those - we LOVE the TV show 'How I Met Your Mother.'
This weekend has brought an opportunity for me to visit Katie at Washington University. I hitched a ride from Joplin with a girl in my dorm, which was fantastic. It was a great four and half hours of wonderful conversation and laughter. We arrived at WashU around dinnertime, and it was so great to see Katie's apartment. Cute! After a short nap, Katie took me to a wonderful on-campus restaurant called ibby's. It is definitely a nicer place on campus, complete with fine dining options. After a very filling dinner (I had chicken and gnocchi, and Katie had steak, we shared chocolate mousse for dessert. Mmmm.) we explored the campus. It is a beautiful campus, filled with traditional architecture and practically radiating history and tradition. It was a beautiful night for a walk, and the campus was still covered by snow. Beautiful. After a tour that made me a little jealous for Ozark, we returned to Katie's apartment and start on homework. Something about being in the same room made Friday night homework less miserable. Finally I could keep my eyes open no longer, and thus Saturday morning was ushered in.
We slept in - it was glorious - and caught breakfast at the dining hall. Delicious omlettes filled us up, and we set off for Forest Park. Forest Park is so beautiful, especially with snow on the ground. The snow was fast melting, but we caught some really amazing pictures. We trekked up to the art gallery, and the view was stunning. The museum sits on a hill that looks down upon this beautiful lake with decorative white walkways and bridges. After taking some pictures, we entered the museum and saw several exhibits - European, American, Asian, Egyptian (mummies! it was super cool), and several ancient cultures. It was wonderful, especially because that is a part of my passions that is so rarely fed. Examining the paintings, searching for meaning, recognizing artists - it was all so fantastic. We went from the gallery to the mall, in order to find a suit for Katie. It proved more difficult than anticipated, and while she tried on option after option, I tried on prom dresses! It was so fun, and it helped both of us relax some, I think. Especially because we finally settled on an option. We took the metro back to campus in time to nap before dinner at ibby's again (you'd be exhausted too). We dressed up for dinner, and enjoyed a dinner of a butternut squash ravioli and a delicious hamburger, followed again by chocolate mousse. Mmmmm. A rather chilly walk brought us back to the apartment for homework, Celebrity Rehab, and HGTV. And of course, playing with Katie's hamsters. Fabulous Saturday. I feel like tomorrow will be filled with homework, but that may be alright given the amount of walking today required. It'll be good to just chill.
I am so excited to be here with Katie. It's always awesome to be with someone with whom you are completely comfortable and have no reservations. I had so much that I had to talk through with her, and I value her opinion and listening so much! I love getting to know this side of her, and I'm honestly excited to be able to go to a class with her Monday morning!

Restless

Lately I am in the mood to travel. I'd venture to guess that the weekend in New York set it off, but I feel this restlessness. I want to see the world, to experience things that are not in Missouri, or even in this hemisphere. I wish that I had unlimited means and that I could visit every place that struck my mind extensively. I'd love to live in and explore all the cities that have been painted vividly in my mind since I was young. Places like London, Paris, Switzerland, Italy, Greece, and Rome all come rushing to my mind and populate a list of "someday dreams." I want to see what attracts attention - places like the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre - but I most want to experience life there. To go about a day of something more than tourist-y activities.
As much as I long for this, I know that I need to be in Joplin. I loved being in the northeast again. I would move back in a heartbeat if there were somehow an OCC campus there that provided what I needed to graduate. I feel so much like I'm just in limbo right now. I want to have adventures that extend past the Bible belt. This pervasive restlessness is absolutely maddening sometimes.

New Years.

Heal my heart and make it clean. Open up my eyes to the things unseen. Show me how to love like you have loved me. Break my heart for what breaks yours, everything I am for your kingdom's cause as I walk from earth into eternity.

-Brooke Fraser, "Hosanna"