Darkness.
In front of a window damp with condensation,
one streetlight shining through.
On a chair in the midst of assorted items,
crying to be packed.
Lightning playing across the sky, a simple display of beauty and might.
I can't help but wax a touch poetic as I gaze out into the street. Every once in a while lightening brightens up the sky for a minute, dangerous and strangely beautiful. In spite of all of our modern technology and our ever-growing knowledge of weather lightening still holds an odd power over us. It can force changes in plans, changes in lifestyles (in extreme cases), and changes in our moods. It's interesting that something so seemingly insignificant and irrelevant can wield such power.
Since the dawn of creation lightening has existed. Some scientists even claim that lightening existed before we do (which, I suppose, creationists could endorse. I don't know that the Bible ever specifically records the beginning of lightening). We know a good deal about this force of nature, yet we remain in awe of it. It's power over us is truly incredible. So much of life is spent seeking such a power. We're encouraged from the get-go to be people of influence, people who can make the world turn. But why? No doubt such people must and should exist. But what's wrong with leading an ordinary life? A life that is filled with laughter and friendship rather than dramatic deals and shallow aspirations? Is it that important that the world knows who I am and what I've done? Is it worth selling my youth, adventures, and personality to become whatever I can to succeed? I think not.
With my sister's pending wedding, marriage has been on my mind. Not that it's ever a topic far off (it's a Bible college thing), but as friends get engaged and married, it is especially prevalent. And the more I think about it, the less compromising I seem to be willing to do. I don't want to get married if it means anything less than a life of adventure, passion, and beauty. This isn't to say that I am, in any sense, afraid of the hard times (well, maybe some), but rather that I won't settle. I may be naive about love and marriage, but if it doesn't life up to my ideal why would I want to accede? Marriage is a huge sacrifice and, honestly, not one that I could willingly make without a huge return. So I'm not going to become a wife. I'm not trying to hook a man by any means -- that's not what success, value, or power are to me. I am learning to be content and realize my value as a single woman, a woman free in the world to pursue unlimited opportunities to glorify God. I'm not planning a wedding or my dream date - if those fall into my world, into God's plan for my life, lovely. If not, I'm still powerful. I'm still indwelt by the Holy Spirit. I'm still God's chosen. It may be hard, but it'll be worth it.
